One thing finished, a pile of other things to begin

It was a terrific Jell-O Art Show as usual, and I marvel every year at the way the limits disappear and I am able to do so many things that I would normally avoid...the persona of the Queen takes over and I can extend much more generosity and social ease than I can do as the hermit worker that I really am most of the time. I'm still feeling vulnerable and depleted but also buoyed and rewarded for all the efforts it took to get to today.

I truly do dedicate myself to the show and the Angels efforts and serve as this essential link to the gallery and the public that strengthens the show and the community...and I was doing this to a degree for the 24 years before I was Queen Gelatinaceae of the Jell-O Art Realm but in her embodiment I can carry several hidden roles and still end up loving it. The depth of emotion in the troupe and in the art of performance itself is something I am still learning about. This was only my fifth performance (I was crowned in 2012) and I still have a lot to learn about the fear/fun divide so that I can spend less time in the fear part (manifesting as worry) and more in the fun. I simply love the costumes and props part, and will spend hours at home working on that. I love to sing and dance, but wish it didn't come with anxiety.

Making the Jell-O Art itself is getting harder in some ways...I have less interest in playing with it and more interest in some deep artistic process and statement, so the theme is important to me, even though I don't follow it in some discernible way sometimes. The theme, Fool's Jell-O, was wide open and I was in a zone of deception and imitation...thinking about how fewer birds come to my yard, whales are still being massacred, and the obvious present assault on our planet is really our biggest problem. Combine that overwhelming anxiety with the antique bell jar that created a space used in history for preserving things from the passage of time, or keeping them safe from the effects of the environment, dust, light, etc. worked to give me this kind of simple concept and elegant presentation which wasn't really what I envisioned but did satisfy me.

Practicing greater simplicity is a goal and the script was more streamlined as well. I wish I would have crammed more jokes into it and done this or that, and I didn't give myself a solo or lead to a song, but played a supportive role for the most part and held down some of the emcee and director duties to be responsible for the flow and action. That worked mostly, with quite brilliant assistance by the fabulous Jester Jacque who gamely stood at my ear in case I didn't have it down. She also helped me with the parallel duty to sell my shirts which is something that doesn't fit with my Queenly duties during the public show. I like to try to recognize and congratulate each artist and let them know how much we all appreciate them and love their work. I work with the raining Slug Queen or whomever represents her, to try to get them the right space to give the benediction, and do lots of tiny things to keep it all afloat. Of course I am not the only one doing any of these things.

A big thank you to Bee who held down the shirt table and apparently did most of the work as lots of shirts went home with people! Next year will be the 30th show so I don't mind that we have a few left over. Thanks also to every single artist, young and old, and to the staff and volunteers of the gallery who are wonderful to us and improve the show every year. Having seating in front was great and a lot of people really appreciated it.

There is no way to encapsulate the gratitude and appreciation for the rest of the Angels who are each and every one amazing with their generosity of time and talent. It's important to acknowledge that they do it for love. It takes a lot of meetings and practice and it's hard as hell for that to all be over in less than a half hour and consigned to our rich history. They find the parts they love to do, be it dancing or singing or playing ukes and kazoos or making costumes or promoting the show to their friends and families. 

Indi deserves an entire book for her many contributions as the true goddess and glue of why we are still doing this after all this time. No one wants to let her down! She is patient and wise and kind and without her it would not be what it is at all. The funniest part of yesterday for me was that a young TV reporter was trying to interview me with a tight deadline and the whole time Indi was behind her dancing and making big gestures which I could not look at but also could not ignore. My peripheral senses kept asking "What would Indi want me to say?" and "What is she trying to tell me?" and it kept me guessing and even brought tears to my eyes once to the dismay of the reporter. I don't think she ended up using the interview at all and after I looked for it on the website I realized she didn't have any lights or a real TV camera...she was using the interview as notes for the little article she did. It was terrible but it's awfully rude to say that so I won't repeat it. I can be so mean and nasty sometimes. I want to be understood! I do not want to be quoted in a terribly grammatically incorrect run-on sentence that I swear I didn't say! But yeah, it doesn't matter and since it was the only media coverage we got I should be a lot more grateful. We'll make a bigger splash next year when there might not be a sportsing event grabbing all the attention. If there was a spot of me talking on TV I didn't see it, and I'm okay with that, too. Roger Rix, who is the official photographer of the Slug Queens, did a fabulous group of photos that you can see on his Flickr stream. He really captures it so well you can almost hear us.

I have three weeks of things to do in a week starting tomorrow so although this is my chance to get my photos processed and posted and write all the things about all the other artists and what they brought, I'm going to go outside instead. I have weeds to pull out there. I can't write about everything at once the same as I can't do it all at once. I will try hard to follow through. I can't even get into my deeper feelings and document all that I learned, but I'll hope to return in not forever to do more of that. I hope to get a video in a few weeks and will try to post more photos. Stay tuned I guess. Probably you are outside yourselves, as sun is rare and we need it. Be well! See you back on the Park Blocks next Saturday!