Something Feels Right

Don't want to dwell on it too much, but for some reason today I feel good. Maybe I got enough distance on fears, by skipping the news and reading only some of the articles in our now, stripped down and eviscerated newspaper. It just doesn't pay to buy into fear, and I think I got kind of mired in it.

Not that the fearful conditions have disappeared, but just that I got some distance, I guess. Remembered that my little life is mostly protected, at least at the moment. I have a good roof, dry space, and safety. I keep getting messages from some email hacker but I don't believe them...they're in my spam filter so I don't care. Today my internet was down for unknown reasons, but I think it was just that it was windy and wet last night, and it's back, so I don't care.

I still care about a lot of things, but they're over there somewhere. I'm annoyed with having to take the booth and weights tomorrow, but we only have three more outdoor markets, so they're kind of precious. I can't believe the good weather is gone, but we had a lot of it. I got so many of my outdoor projects done, I actually feel that my property is well-maintained at the moment. No one will care that one wall only got half-painted. I'll catch up next year.

I don't get a day off this weekend, but I'll get one someday. I had a week without much commitment, so I got to do what I wanted most days, and that felt great. Next week I have only one meeting on my schedule, which is amazing. Thank goodness because of Holiday Market we put most of our groups on hold until January and February.

I've got tons of writing and archiving projects piled up in my livingroom, but my niece got an apartment so I don't have to clean up to make space for her, just for myself. I feel free and alone, in the solitude in which I thrive.

Even had the energy to rake my neighbor's leaves. He's old, older than me, so I get to do it and keep the leaves. I have realized I can't get a load of leaves from the city anymore; it's too much work. I have to work less. It is now my job to work less.

Except tomorrow. I have to work more. Property taxes are due, and I don't quite have it in my bank account. It will come.

Okay, back to work, but I just thought I should record some ease and not anxiety for a change. May it last.