Friends for Life

My oldest friend here in Eugene, Galen, is leaving in less than two weeks for a big adventure that may settle her in faraway lands and I'm shut down about it, trying to get myself to feel what I am actually feeling. I feel loss like a big dark cloud over me and it's making it seem like there is nothing I can do to express my appreciation and love for her steadfast friendship. My mode is avoidance but I know that is so destructive. I busy myself with work and other commitments, when what I really want to do is cling to her and tell her I can't quite live without her. But that isn't what adults do and this is as close as I will get to it. I'll figure something out, though it will seem inadequate, and anyway, I tell myself, we are friends for life and there is a lot of life still to come. Maybe. If we are lucky.

It occurred to me yesterday that I am a reluctant leader. I don't really want to be important and under scrutiny for my actions, reactions, ideas, opinions and thoughts. I could be wrong! Don't listen to me!

But I was right about the weather at Tuesday Market, it was gorgeous. We had a healthy selection of crafts and some real shoppers, the kind who look at every booth, even if they don't buy anything. The traffic flowed a little better in our mini-plaza and we built it all a little bit stronger. There are regular Tuesday sellers, many having been there longer than I have, and they put in the hours and work hard for the improvement that we need, and to sustain what we have.

We get pretty excited when one of the known good sellers from Saturday joins us, and this week it was Willy from White Raven Artworks. I'm not sure how well he did, but he did attract some attention. I set up in a different spot, which was an interesting perspective as I could see most of our Market from where I was, but I'll probably go back to my old spot next week. The center court vision we have for Tuesdays is still stuck over in the side quadrant, but it suits us and our numbers for now so I'll stop trying to push for something that just isn't happening.

We're settling into our separation from the farmers on Tuesdays and it looks like we will be fine. Sales are definitely lower for me, but they are on Saturdays too, and there is not a way to ferret out the real causes for lower sales. There are so many variables, and most of them are well out of my control.

I'm struggling for some clear concept of the state of our relations with the farmers right now. Their splashy front-page article was like a PSA, the information so carefully controlled, and while I feel it was generally accurate, it still only painted a small part of the picture. Yes, they are popular with the public and certainly well-loved in concept. The beautiful food and plants are vital to our lives and we all want them to thrive and want to be a part of their support.

If the past is the past, it was awfully unfair to single out Noa and Kate to blame things on. Noa did the best he could to run three markets a week and all things managerial and I believe he was left fairly powerless by the members and Board at the time. Things got so bad there is no way it was his fault. There were lots of other players, but some of them are big earners over there and in any case, it is not helpful to call out individuals and castigate them for making mistakes. If the past is the past, let's not go there.

What about the present? What about all the issues that have been swept under the rug, like the big grant from the city that remains unspent, even for the electrical improvements that are costing thousands of dollars in loss to individual businesses, every week that they fail to work properly. What about the recycling that isn't getting done, the small farmers who have lost the opportunity to sell over there with the banning of the consignment and community booths? People who can't hack the seniority and space issues, people who are some of the longest running members, who have been there for all of the thirty years, who have been forced out to make space for bigger businesses who may not even be farmers. I think they could put a fair number of vendors in the space used up by the beer garden, and by businesses who have storefronts in other locations and are just taking advantage of a very profitable, cheap space downtown that wouldn't be open to them if the regulating functions of the organization hadn't been cast aside to focus on the manufactured crisis.

Yes, the tax thing was bad, and it was going to be exposed at some point, so it makes sense to spin the story. Most of the money that should have been spent to pay that debt was used up by the subsequent bad managers hired by people taking credit, but the real reason the organization had to borrow start-up funds was that they changed the fee system from percentage to flat fee, which made it so the only way to make more money, was to add vendors. The space problem is manufactured by the simple fact that they big earners felt that their fees were too high, so even the 3% fee for daily sales was dropped. The flat fee is so much cheaper for the big vendors that the space is now highly desirable, and the reason for most of the growth.

The little businesses, the ones who make under $400, would actually be better off within the Saturday Market organization, which has always included those who grow or gather. Some recently posted pictures on the Market website show the LCFM origins, boxes of produce on the butterfly lot. Yes, we started the farmers market, launched them with great effort, and though they separated to run their own organization after about 10 years, those roots are still part of the history. But the past is the past, and now not only are we accused of sabotage, but when we do genuinely try to help, we are scolded.

Farmers are coming to us asking for space and the benefits of our membership organization. We want to welcome them in, but we turn away vendors every week, and the 4x4 system really does not work for those used to one or several 10x10s. Even the 8x8 space is small for a farmer's booth. We want to add an area for farmers, which would help relieve their space problems, allow those who are closer to our ideals and values to join us, and provide an option for those who don't like the policies and practices of the current LCFM leaders.

One thing I know about our organization, from long decades of involvement and observation, is that we really do operate from our core values of equality, fairness, good intentions and thoughtful, conservative management. We really do not engage in scheming, twisting and mis-representing, though I'm not saying we do not make mistakes. Mostly due to the large numbers of people involved, we have our share of darkly humorous jokes, but we operate with the highest morality we can envision. Our leaders have integrity and really do care about doing things right, not just getting them off the list.

We care deeply about the present challenges and the future of our friends across the street. We can't turn ourselves away and pretend we aren't affected by what they do and how they do it. We won't be ignored and kept out of their business completely, because it is our business too.

Many of us are terribly frustrated and demoralized about how difficult the last few years have been for the relationship between the two organizations that are often described as sisters. It's more accurate to view us as the big sister and them as the younger brother, with all the resentment and fractious bickering that comes with growth and autonomy. They do not want our oversight, though they like it when we wash the dishes and bring our assets to the marketplace. They do not even actually seem to want our participation, at least not on our own terms.

It's not that simple, of course, as the real history is definitely not as simple as the article in the R-G would have people think. The organization is in greater internal chaos now than it has ever been, and it has a history of chaos. But let's not talk about that, because that might lead to actual solutions to the problems that might be fair, serve all of the members, and allow the two organizations to be good neighbors instead of cold acquaintances who have an unspoken history.

I don't have a solution, aside from the consistent, patient slogging through each issue as it comes up, never really addressing what it says in the mission statement, the "shared values." It would be enormously helpful to get us all in a room, hammer out the shared values, and make a plan together to make sure all the micro-businesses, large and small, have ways to succeed and a place to sell. But that isn't going to happen, and it would have to be a big room.

The Friends of the Farmer's Market are wonderful people all, but you can't have your friends in charge of your business. In organizations like ours, you have to stay focused on your core values or be swallowed up in confusion. The farmers have friends, but real friends don't just love you. They question you, they reflect you back, and they tell you the truth.

They consistently care, and though they sometimes get things wrong, they come back for another try. The best friends are for life. The best friends stay up at night and listen to your grief or they think about you from their beds, tossing and turning about how to help. They can't walk away.

That's how I'm feeling today about the farmers. I haven't been able to walk away, even when I know it would be good for me. My intentions are coming from my heart and I'm using my brain too. I'm reluctant to get out in front, but I'm always going to be there in the room, willing to speak truth, willing to craft elegant solutions. Even when I am terminated, glared at, and criticized, and told there is no space for me.

Even when I have a lot of other things to do! Even when my emotions are crunchy, I can't shake my feelings of loss, and my finances are scary. I want to feel good about Lane County Farmers Market. I love the farmers. Tough love, friends for life.

Bit by bit, clarity and progress

Got completely soaked yesterday on the way home from Tuesday Market, and the rain didn't let up until long after I had unloaded the wet stuff into the shop and changed clothes. I didn't totally mind it, as it wasn't really cold and added interest to the process. Plus it gave me an excuse to take it easy for the rest of the evening, as I had expended some major energy.

Tuesday Market is building. Aaron moved his food cart to the east side of the plaza, and next week Deb and I are committing to moving over there in the hope of starting a circle of booths that will create a more cohesive event instead of a scattering of individuals looking over across the street hoping for some scraps of attention.

We need more booths to really create a destination, and it definitely affected us to move away from the produce, but we are feeling that it was the best decision, to occupy the east block, and by mid-summer we will have a warm, interesting event happening, with entertainment, lots of food choices, and exciting, attractive crafts.

My income went up ever-so-slightly and other people seemed to do a bit better than last week. Once the tourism really starts, we'll be ready. I still have the only (and best) canvas tote bags, which are needed by the food shoppers, and both sun and rain encourage hat sales. I probably ought to minimize the table space for my curious and seductive Jell-Oh Art flowers, and bring more shirts. I have plenty of shirts to bring, all of the kids line and women's shirts that I no longer want to sell on Saturdays. They're still good, just don't fit in my space or on my trailer.

In other news, I sat in, taking minutes, on an OCF committee that really had great process and that encouraged me quite a bit about my involvement in the Fair and how things work in that world. It's always my interest to study and reduce the us vs. them energy that comes when segments of populations don't see or understand other segments.

It's usually an illusion based on some unmet needs or unheard perspectives, and it's usually built into the history and process of any kind of organization. My tactic of late has been to insert myself into the arenas where I feel unseen, and give "them" a chance to see me and see that I am rational and trustworthy, and may even have something constructive to offer.

Of course it is usual for both "sides" to see themselves as the misunderstood parties, and in most cases intentions are good and listening skills really advance the understanding. In letting go of my efforts to hear the farmers and attempt to allow them to hear those across the street, I have seen that my position in the middle had become not only ineffective but a stumbling block to the natural progress of the issues. My perception is that it is flowing naturally without me and I am so happy to have lost the associated stress.

On Tuesdays I am looking forward to positioning myself with my back to the street so I focus on things that are not frustrating and emotionally draining. The less attachment I have to what is going on with the farmers, the more I like them and the more easily I can interact with the Tuesday sellers, who are generally just vendors and artisans like me who just want to make and sell their products in peace.

With OCF, I don't have any personal issues I want to advance, just want to do my little part to solidify the organizational knowledge base and help people make fully informed and thoughtful decisions. I have found that working small on the committee level is the best way for an individual to connect with the big spinning peach, to just be a part of the conversations and the processing that has to get done, and is best done early when the decisions are being formed. I'm still in the beginning stages of listening and observing to see where the energy bottlenecks are.

When they seem to rest in individuals who are unknowingly, or intentionally slowing down change, it can be a big problem. People who are not open to seeing themselves and their behaviors with thoughtfulness are a thorn in the side of organizations who are usually responding to change that is thrust upon them. While there is some value in knowing how things have always been done, it's more important to know why this is so, and if it really speaks to the core values or is just habit.

I'm encouraged to know that OCF people are there, looking within and holding the values strongly. When their decisions seem scary or just plain wrong, it is valuable to look at the core values and bring them to bear.

I love the way Saturday Market does this so often. All of our struggles are lessened when we can remember what needs to lie underneath our actions.

Yet, we have to remember that our core values are not necessarily the core values of those we interact with. The harder task is seeing where the others are coming from, where the values may differ, and working to align the "opponents" so that we all become us. Or We.

It can happen.

Jell-Oh My

My dear friend Ra gave me the great idea to call the stupendous jello art Jell-Oh! What a perfect way to get around the problem of using the corporate name, yay. Now I just have to go back and edit it into a gazillion blog posts so that it will be googly enough to register.

Now that I know about the filtering ways of google I wonder if I am anywhere near as famous as I think. Google keeps showing my blog as the top search result, but that is just what it wants me to think is the top. Now I'll mess it all up again with a name change. But oh well. It's really about making the stuff, not selling it or being famous. I just want to make the stuff.

Which brings me to the Market emotional territory. Things have been a bit dramatic of late, all winter and it doesn't seem to be over. I keep returning to the wonderful fount of knowledge and understanding that I gained from counseling, mostly from RC, Re-evaluation Counseling, which is a peer-to-peer network for building community through emphatic listening skill-building.

What I'm using the most is the work around drama, what constitutes it, how seductively attractive it seems, and how to eradicate it from our daily doings. It's work everybody needs to do for their own benefit and the great relief it brings to all human interaction.

I'm no expert, but what I have learned is that if you don't own and work through your emotional issues, the hurts and confusions and pre-judging you inflict upon yourself on a daily basis, some of which goes all the way back to birth and early childhood, you will spread your suffering around and make it much larger than it needs to be. This is not easy work.

Feelings aren't facts. When you feel something, it can cause distress, even if the feelings are positive and you are pleased. We develop a natural habit of amplifying and sharing the feelings, and if we bring a lot of confusing old stuff along with them, we tend to go into irrationality rather quickly. It's very difficult to stay out of it and remain rational, while at the same time feeling the emotions, identifying the patterns and their steps and pitfalls, and keeping it to yourself while you process. That is the delightful part of co-counselling, that you create a safe space to do that processing and come out the other side back into the present, with another human, so you are not alone in the work, and you get some assistance from someone who cares.

People who have not learned this regularly amplify and spread their distress all over whatever the rest of us are trying to do, and it makes things so complicated and uncomfortable! Good listeners can divert some of this, because we all want to be heard and seen and know it is real, but mostly there isn't time to do the kind of listening that will really help the people who really need it. Particularly not on Saturday.

Other times all it takes is one person giving their full attention for one short period of time. There are a couple of people in my sphere who are really great at it. Beth's address in this week's newsletter touched upon it: "Focus," she says. "Right now." Our Board chair, Willy Gibboney, is a really practiced listener and he has been called to listen to several people this week, to encourage them to stop and listen to others, to develop their compassion. When he has to go off and do this instead of sitting on his little stool making drumsticks and talking about his craft, my heart aches for him and how seriously he takes his volunteer position in our organization. I'd much rather watch how he gently mentors young people and listens carefully to even the most needy wacky person who wanders down our lane. I'd much rather see him sell some shirts and get inspired about new drum designs.

We are starting to see the swell of people from outside our area, bringing their interest and attention (and money) to our little lives, that influx that helps us survive ourselves and make it one more week or month or year doing what we want to do. With their help we are able to not only survive, but thrive, and spread our way to those who are looking for it. We need these customers. They need us, too.

They don't need to see our distress, the way we stand too much and are cold and trapped in our booths and fearful about our utility bills and whether or not we are doing our best work and whether or not we are being treated fairly and whether or not we are indulging in complaining or really seriously in need of help. They see us from the outside, and we forget that everything we communicate is what they see. We all know how well that desperate energy plays on out little 8x8 stages, how easy it is to scare off those who really want to buy something, but don't want to engage in some troubling conversation about how all of our problems are really caused by someone else and how we really need more sales and better customers. Can you imagine how it is for them to feel that kind of neediness coming from us?

When we are blaming others, glaring or holding onto misunderstandings, failing to extend compassion, all about ourselves and what we need instead of what we are bringing to share, we are sowing our distress and amplifying it. You nurture what you pay attention to. If your whole day is about how this or that person is doing this or that wrong, you are most likely communicating that and mostly that, not your joy of creation, your next great idea, your happiness to be alive and doing what you love.

So I will echo what Beth says. Focus in, get serious, and do your work and do it well. This is it, now is the time. We have a lot riding on our moments. Every little negative way we fail to process our irrationality and spread it to others adds to the hurt and not to the joy.

Get some help if you need it. Learn about your internal landscape and how you dramatize it, and how much happier you could be if you could shut off some of those habitual pathways that lead you down the road of distress. There are lots of folks doing co-counseling in our area: wonderful, skilled people who will welcome you in and help you learn how to be happier and make the world more wonderful. Lots of them are also tuned into NVC, Non-violent or Compassionate Communication, which shares much of the same thinking. Paraphrasing Marshall Rosenberg, why are we here if not to make life more wonderful?

If you can't afford one-way counseling, find the RC class, or if nothing else, do some research and ask a friend to trade time listening to each other. You do that anyway in less formal ways, so it could be an easy step to clear some private time and try it out. Develop your empathy and compassion. Do it for yourself, and do it for our community. We need you to be your best self, so we can be our best selves. There's a lot of work to do!

Gelatinaceae

I've started a new blog just for the Jell-O Art, named for my new flora, and will mostly be putting my jello art posts over there.

Gelatinaceae will lead to bigger and better splashes into the big pond, I hope, as I try to expand the possibilities of my gelatine art.

And now to get to bed, tomorrow will be a big day!

A big ball of energy

I have some time before I go to take minutes at an OCF committee, and remembered I was going to write a post about the Fair. Everybody loves to love it, but so many people complain about it too, how it doesn't respond correctly to their very big needs.

Taking the minutes of two committees changed the relationship I have with the Fair, as I am now not just a booth person, but a volunteer. It doesn't show, and won't get me anything, except a new understanding. There are literally thousands of really committed people who do jobs of various levels of importance to make it all happen, and happen well, and they will not notice me joining them, or think I should get anything for it. I don't do it for a pass or to belong or for most of the reasons people are committed, I just felt I had a skill that was needed and thought I could offer some time. I've often thought of ways to reduce the "us vs. them" division that is part of our operations, and this was a surprisingly easy one. Now I'm both us and them.

The one most important thing I have noticed is that there is no one in charge of the Fair, in the way people expect when they complain about the various ways their Big Important Needs are not being met. There is no one noticing that you are being stepped on, or feel that way. It's too big, the spinning ball of energy that is the Fair, and no one is spinning it.

If you are lucky and really dedicated, you might have a slight, temporary influence on the speed or direction of the spin, the way Leslie did, or certain staff people have in the areas of their expertise, but in general, no one person is in charge of the spin. It just goes and goes and gets slowed or diverted despite the best efforts of many to make it the way they want it.

But if you have a Big, Specific Need and the solution seems so simple and you feel ignored and unseen, this is because there is no one in charge of meeting your needs. You have to be in charge of that. If you have a special situation that doesn't seem to fit the rules or procedures, the generally attempted method of meeting your needs is to just quietly do what suits you and make things happen to fit. This does usually work, so we are always quite surprised if it doesn't and we somehow get stuck in the process.

The situations I am thinking of are mostly booth related. Your booth rep gets a divorce and you are cast out, friendless after so many years of thinking you belonged, or you want to hand things over to your kids but they don't actually do what you do and it gets a bit sticky. Or you want to continue, but not doing what you were doing, and rejurying creates huge problems. Or there is a tree growing in your booth and you know if you cut it someone will be mad at you, but you can't get the people who are supposed to do it to do it.

I've seen this over and over, that you don't know who to ask, and you start the shuffle from person to person, each one refusing to back your dog or even admit that you have a dog and there is a fight. I've done it myself, complete with the tearful rant where years of frustration get dumped on one overworked and befuddled volunteer, who mostly just wants to have a pass so they can dance in a meadow in the sun. Along with all the wonderfulness and positivity that so many bring to each other so repeatedly, there is a seething swamp of dysfunction and poor behavior that is just part of the human condition.

No one is in charge of cleaning it up or preventing it from happening, although the many trainings, hippie ethics and actual skilled communicators within our organization do help many work through these things and sometimes do it well. I've heard more than once that instead of a Scribe Tribe, we need a pool of skilled facilitators or counselors or steps to follow to keep things from getting to the screaming rant stage.

Now that I am closer to being on the inside (still no t-shirt) I see the screaming ranters a little differently, a little more as patterned behavior and not so much as hurt individuals. I think the Fair needs to find some ways to evolve together toward feeling more united and less divided into interest groups, and it is possible that the Scribe Tribe concept is one step toward that. I know I am attending meetings I would have no reason to attend without my role. What are some ways we could encourage more people to step into something in which they have no direct interest? How can we get each other to see more of the big picture and feel more a part of it? I think Suzi's book Fruit of the Sixties had a big part in shifting my thinking, as I saw how many roles some people play over time, especially in the beginning when there were fewer of both us and them.

I'm not full of answers. I'm just taking these small steps to help my own understanding. One, there is no one in charge, and two, there is no one in charge of fixing your Big Important Problems but you. However, there will probably be no easy solution, no matter how simple things look to you, unless you can see a bigger view, way beyond your situation and into the spinning ball.

Put out one finger, and move toward the ball, and see if you can feel it from the outskirts. No? Move closer. Be careful, don't get too caught up. Be assured, it is not what you think.

It's almost never what you think it is. I like that about it. It's better than I thought it was, though the parts that are bad are worse than I thought. I like thinking that nothing I do will matter in the least, to the big picture. I'm simply unimportant, like the other thousands of us reaching out one finger to test the wind.

It's actually making me love it more, that big, uncontrollable, wild spin of big trees and small folks. Nothing is under control.

I thought of the shirt I want to do for this year: Oregon Country Fair Spawn

Tiny fertile seeds of thoughts and stoned nights around campfires, laid in the gravel to be found or not, to grow or not, to die and be forgotten, or not. To shine briefly and then flame out.

Missing Lowell, Wally, and all those others. So many others. Good thing they left their seeds.

Tuesday Market

Some of you might be wondering what is up with Tuesday Market. Saturday Market artisans have been co-selling with farmers down there for about a decade and a half, me for only a couple of years. It has been somewhat frustrating that the farmers didn't promote it, and it wasn't very well attended by those so necessary customers, but it is a sweet little market downtown in the summer and we love it. Some people also sell Thursdays, but I don't know much about that, since I don't.

This year in their need for growth they let us know that we might be displaced by their own vendors, though they did say they valued the relationship with us and the synergy. We like reserving spaces rather than waiting to choose space after they are all in at 9:00 am, because it takes awhile to get set up and we are such hard workers.

So we showed up this week for the first one, ready to be flexible and do whatever worked. There were about six farmers, who did take up most of the shady spaces, but the area we have reserved in the past was all still open, so we set up much the same way we did two years ago. (Last year they tried moving over to the East Park Block, but moved back to the West one this year.)

But while we were waiting we had a meeting, about twenty or twenty-five of us, mostly ones who had sold before, but a couple of new people too. We held a straw poll and determined that we felt that we had the critical mass to move ourselves over to the East block for the season.

It's a little risky, but the upside is that we now can promote our Tuesday Market, add member and customer services, our own food booths in addition to the food carts, and add entertainment and restrooms and whatever we need to be successful. Since mostly what we need is customers, we will have to do some work in that area, but we can also work to add to our vendor population so that we are a destination of our own.

It felt really heart-warming to act as a cohesive group, and make solid decisions for ourselves, taking back control of our work lives, which is such a dominant core value for artisans. Member-to-member relations with the farmers are great and have always been cooperative and multi-dimensional. We don't have a conflict with the farmers. We understand that their needs are slightly different from our needs. We appreciate the synergy and think this will continue the positive aspects of the relationships and not cause any further problems.

If some farmers want to join us, it's easy. The membership fee enrolls you in our organization, with all the services Saturday Market provides. The Tuesday fee structure is just $5 plus 10% of your sales. We each get an 8x8, but it is possible with all the space available that we can accommodate some larger booths, if some of those used to larger spaces want to cross the street.

If not, that's okay too. We will promote ourselves and the farmers will still accrue the benefits of our vitality, as we benefit from theirs. It will be an expansion and an improvement. We have lots of artisans who can't get space on Saturdays who can work with us on Tuesday to get the needed experience and cash to keep going. I myself find it an important supplement to my income and a good routine for my week. If anyone has any questions, come down and meet us before nine on next Tuesday and see for yourself, or of course call the office. It will be great! See you there.

Jell-O for All!

It's my birthday, my 61st. Last year I felt compelled to enjoy a big deal about it, but this year I'm keeping it low, just going through some of my usual emotional processes. I couldn't get to sleep last night, full of self-examination and thoughts about my progress on the planet, what I can do better, what mistakes I might be engaging in at this point in my life. I do all that while also being extremely grateful for having gotten this far and feeling some measure of satisfaction and even happiness as I begin another turn through the seasons.

I never work on my birthday if I can help it, and usually hardly work all week. I did some printing on Monday and got myself to Tuesday Market for the first one this year, and am glad I did.

The Jell-O is causing a buzz! I sold two roses and got lots of opportunities to talk about it. People are just amazed and delighted at the gorgeousness of the flowers and full of ideas for what I should do next. I promised a mermaid collector I would make a mermaid or two. I put orchids on headbands and roses on pinbacks for boutonnieres. I pinned one in my hair on Saturday and can be seen in Kim's flickr stream of photos of Market, but I look too ghoulishly old in the picture to want to display it here. Here are a couple of bathroom mirror pictures of the "fascinators" I made this week.

My friend Pamela so generously took me to Wicked on Saturday night and I wore Jell-O in my hair, a purple orchid, and we sat in the fourth row. That means just about everyone in the Hult Center saw me and wondered what the heck it was. Usually people think it's glass, which of course would be too heavy and dangerous. Jell-O is perfect. The sun throws colors on my hair and all around me, and I feel totally elegant and special. I think it may just be a real product now, though time will tell. I made some little cards to give out and a lot of people picked them up on Saturday. I'm presently the top hit on google for Jell-O Artist, which is some measure of universal success. I'm not just alive, I have done something pretty darn special for my fifteen minutes.

I like what my friend Dave says: "You're one in a million, and there's a million just like you." Keeps a bit of perspective. I get a thrill out of saying I'm probably the only person in the world making these items, but anyone could do it. I even tell how. My thrill will most likely be short-lived, but that doesn't take away any of my enjoyment today.

We had a satisfying SM Board meeting last night, made some decisions that took bravery and deep thought, and I was especially proud of my friend Willy for his leadership and listening skills. He used to work with pre-schoolers and their parents and he is putting that to good use now, fielding all the emotions that fly around the room because we are all so deeply invested in our organization. Even though we are getting so big we almost fit the description I came up with for OCF this week: a humongous spinning ball of energy that no one is in charge of. If you are lucky you can guide it ever-so-slightly in one direction or another but its energy and synergy are just not under the control of any single person, so looking for an authority figure to mete out justice is futile. You have to step in, advocate for what matters to you, and add your energy to the spin. Be careful, never reckless.

Be thoughtful, yet open to new ideas. Come from the heart and use your head. Don't be too afraid. Remind yourself you are just one tiny part of something amazing, and can take a little credit while not feeling too powerful. Negative energy can spin things just the same as positive can, so stay on the sunny side. We are the microcosm, and have carved out a space where we can act and be, and be safe, and prosper and be happy in our choices. We can allow lots of chances, and we don't have to burn any bridges or engage in any fruitless quests or silly quarrels. It's more than a market, and the universe is unfolding as it should. (Those are some of the mantras our staff shares with us...our staff is the most amazing team ever pulled together.)

The Tuesday Market people bonded. I'll do a separate post about it. Our Board took a couple of steps into a more secure future last night regarding keeping our market vital and open to all while protecting our niche and our prosperity. We have things to work on, but the will to solve the problems in constructive and kind ways, and I'm happy to do my part.

With Jell-O! Hurray!