Weddings and Ruffles

In a week I will be giving my son away in marriage! Weird concept for someone who has not married herself and isn't even thinking about it. Some rituals are frightening just because they will tickle our senses...in this case my sense of loss comes to mind. I hadn't associated loss with this wedding at all until I found out that I will be walking him through the labyrinth and then handing him over, as if I were giving up the nurturing role to his wife, with all they symbology that goes with family succession and the dominance of the future over the past. Another reason to have a good cry before the day of.

It has been all about gain for me, solidifying a relationship with a stupendously amazing daughter-in-law, being proud and always surprised by the growth of my former little boy, getting a family reunion thrown in for good measure, plus having the overlay of the concentrated ecstasy of the Country Fair, which is like all the holidays rolled up in one sweaty sensual package. It has started to sound like fun, now that I am finished printing, have a handle on all the shade needs of the booth and the people, and have my stock more-or-less filled in and ready to sell.

I'm still working on my *steampunk* costume, which will not be very steampunk I don't suppose, since it will be too hot to wear the Victorian black dress even though it is split up the side so I can get into it, or the brocade robe I had planned to embellish. My sewing machine is still in the living room, next to the table I finally put up to manage the many Jell-O hat ornaments I have in progress.

I'm making things for the hats of all the wedding attendants, Bride and Groom, flower girls, etc. I also plan to have them for the guests, and myself if I get busy and make one for me too. I will. These things are still on the list to complete.

I am trying to clean and de-clutter my whole house (my whole life?) in preparation for my family, most of whom have not seen the house I built and the life I have here, centered around crafts and art and Radar Angels and Saturday Market and the Fair. I want it to look as polished as possible, but of course I don't have time for spring cleaning now. I have a list of excuses, though, starting with my year of the broken foot when a few maintenance kinds of things got away from me. I am just going to appear a bit messy and disorganized, a bit in the classic artist mode. I just can't cover all the bases. It makes me feel old and triggers my sense of loss...and makes for way too much stress.

I guess if they think my house is too tiny and cluttered they probably won't say anything. I'm still proud of it. I call it my first draft house...I haven't had time for the edits that would make it ready for publication. My whole life is kind of like that. It's moving too fast to keep all the loose ends tied up. Sometimes we just have to hang on and do the best we can.

So here we go for a few more days of that before we launch. I will get finished! I will show all of my polished facets and most of my chipped and flawed ones will be kindly overlooked. This is life at its peak for the next week or so. Nothing will be under my control. It will be fast and fleeting and full of all the emotions there are (maybe we can skip horror and dismay and dejection and such) happening all at once.

Hope you can share it with me! Wish I had time to upload some pics of the Jell-O. It is going to be an amazing, overflowing hoopla! With ruffles!