A Good Monday

I'm feeling very happy right now, so I thought I had better mark it to remind myself in case it doesn't last. Real happiness is pretty hard to come by this year, as we are all painfully aware.

I did a helpful thing, and knocked myself out to complete it in time to maximize its effect, and I'm proud it worked, or promises to. I worked all day Sunday and it made me very tired, but I kept at it this morning too and accomplished my goals. It helps balance the many helpful things I have declined to do for various reasons.

For instance, all I did for the elections was one lawn sign for a local race and a lot of Facebooking and reading. I did not send my hard-earned funds to any candidates, no matter how deserving. The whole election by advertising and cash leaves me cold and I know it is the world we live in now but I don't have to play the game. Fortunately most of my causes and candidates won and I refuse to believe my little dollars would have helped where they didn't. A person can only sign on to so many good works without needless self-sacrifice.

My deprivation patterns lead me to want and need lots of savings for the three months of no income coming up when Market closes, and of course these days we do not know when or if we will open again, though we have lots of wishful thinking going. Tonight OCF decides how to navigate for 2021, which as we all know by now will most likely not include the 52nd Fair As We Know It but transformation is powerful and we can have something else. When and if the big juicy events return we sure will have a new level of appreciation for them. Meanwhile, we are working on ways to get some of it safely, which we can learn to do. Market this season worked pretty darn well once we got in the swing of it, and Holiday Market has been stunning so far. 

Saturday the rain held off, though we worried, and my sales were as high as an indoor day with all that work and three more hours, so we are lucky that we have a super-supportive customer base and an awesome group of staff and members to carry us through this throwback to outdoor selling. It isn't all that bad, and we are silly about the early closing, giddy and anticipatory. It is making all the difference.

My masks are a big hit and if I can just resist ending the season with a full inventory I will call it a success. I get obsessive about having every option for every customer instead of just selling out and ending the year with money instead of stuff, but maybe I can change. I have two weeks to prove it.

Just two more weeks of being out in the world and then the big retreat. I am going to out-hermit my most hermitty self. Eventually I will emerge online to learn how to have virtual Jell-O Shows and more new types of interactions, because I must, but for awhile I am going back into making your own bread land. I have a huge stack of books to read and my plan is to archive 2020 while it is all still fresh, since it was so different and won't be that easy to explain without a lot of documentation. It should be the good kind of grief and some fun. After all, we mostly got through it relatively intact. So far.

I'll stop now so the happiness doesn't wear off and the real come through too strong. There's still a lot of real. Mom and I had a troublesome call on Sunday and I worried a lot about it, but just have to learn the lessons so I can prepare for the way this is going to play out for her and for me. I am learning the right things to say and the better ways to feel. Aging people are a big club. There's only one way to resign and we all can hope it is a long way off. 

 We'll find out. Love you all.