Life Markers

Today was my 65th birthday, and I broke my cardinal birthday rule: I didn't take the day off. I'm glad that I went to Tuesday Market...it was the first of the season and the rain didn't materialize, though it was chilly and windy. Hats sold well, and a few bags, and I got presents! People gave me plants, flowers, meat, cookies, tamales and salsa, hugs and smiles. I cooked my own dinner and then went to Sweet Life, and now I get to write!

Work is really heavy these days, cramming lots of small jobs in between a couple of larger ones. I printed one pile of 250 shirts in two hours, with one helper. I think I can go even faster than that when I need to. I wasn't even sore afterward, except my foot. I just can't stand up all day anymore. Standing on concrete downtown is really bad, but in my shop it's more the walking that gets to me. Having a helper is the best solution, so I'll try to make myself do it more. I hate to pay people for doing my work, but I had better get used to that.

There's no way to fix Market from being hard on me; that's just going to be a continuing saga. Lots of folks quit this winter and gave up their reserve spots. It's sad to see but the way it is. I still feel young, and hope with better care of myself I will be able to last another decade on the blocks. Guess we'll see.

I saw Lotte today! That always cheers me up to see the founder of our Market coming to buy her vegetables. She just does what she can each day, and that is all we all can do. Each day our best.

I really haven't had a chance to say more about my trip to Australia. I was so lucky to go, and treated so well. Now that I'm back in my little world and my quiet home, I'm so appreciative of that opportunity to see another place and explore new woods and list new birds (32 species at least!). I'm still stunned at the quality of the hospitality I received. John and Graziella thought of everything, and went so far as to convince their neighbors to let us use their houses, so that many of the guests had free lodgings. They rented vans and cars so that wherever we went it was easy. We rarely had to take the bus, getting picked up and dropped off at any destination we chose. It was as if we were the honored guests, when I expected to do whatever was needed by the bride and groom. I know I was on my mom's coattails for all of that service, but really they did things for everyone. All of the cousins and uncles and friends were invited to meals and coffee time rolled around whenever there were more than two people in the kitchen.

On our ferry day to Watson's Bay

Graziella's parents Colomba and Rocco modeled that sensitivity to others' needs, and did it all quietly without a trace of bother. If milk ran low they were off to the store. We ate so many loaves of bread and kinds of pasta and delicious simple meals I was hard pressed to even get hungry. We lived in luxury. I don't know how to thank them. The obvious way would be to offer the same, should I ever get a visit, or at least learn to treat my own guests with a similar sense of open generosity. I've vowed to get rid of some belongings so that I have a decent guest room and can extend sincere invitations. That will be a good project for the coming end-of-summer, when my time frees up a little.

As always my brother inspired me to do better in so many ways. I love how he does that, not by telling me but just by being a good person, allowing people to see how he struggles and works to fix things and craft life carefully. Weddings are very powerful for showing a person's community. There were a hundred people around those dinner tables, all wishing the best for their two friends.The speeches, the happiness shared by all of us, were reflections of the two of them. They inspire each other, and the work they do to communicate and love each other is visible. The maturity of their lives and their relationship is warming and hopeful to witness. I was drawn to them, like everyone there. They were the center of our human collection on that day and for that time. No wonder I was overwhelmed with emotion. Such a rich experience.

Family group photos

I loved being with the older people too. We had one evening when Mom and a couple of Graziella's uncles sat around the table and talked about the conditions of their childhoods and those of their parents in the first few decades of the twentieth century. Their experiences were quite similar ones of poverty in a rural setting, growing their food, trying to increase their resources, and providing dreams and support for their children. Their parents and grandparents had worked even harder than these folks, farming with draft animals, sleeping in the same buildings with their animals for warmth, and using the dung (or that of the departed bison) for fuel. There was plenty of fun too in the large families. Living history lessons from the family stories gave us all a lot to imagine about our ancestors. Mom happens to be writing a book about her grandmother, who homesteaded in Nebraska in about 1880, and I'm working on my book about the history of my property, which starts in 1850. All of that time came alive for me listening to the families. The uncles gave my Mom a copy of their book about the Italian community in Adelaide, many of whom migrated from Molinara in Italy. Their family is still close because their family has always been close, and they maintain that intentionally.

It's hard not to want that, and maintaining it is something I want to work harder at. I want to spend that time. It's hard to find the ways, take the steps. I have to work harder at gratitude for what I do have, for the attention I do get, and lose some of the impatience and petty thoughts that come to me. Nothing is gained by getting; it's all in the giving. It's good to have directions for self-improvement, good examples, and plans. As I yawn my way from the few hours off I gave myself tonight for my birthday, I grant myself some good dreams. I can dream and work for the little improvements that step by step will add to the work of the last sixty-five years to make the next many better than I can presently imagine. I love my life. Thanks for being in it with me!

Wedding sunset before we all went inside