From the Inside

It was fun seeing the Slug Queen Competition from the inside...or close to the inside anyway. As a Celebrity Judge I was quite peripheral. I took it as an honor nevertheless, and anyway a great chance to spend a week or two on costuming, preparation, and Jell-O. I attempted to make a Slug-on-a-Stick for each Old Queen, with a few roses as back-up, but I ended up being so in love with my rose and calla bouquet that I had only two or three roses to give away. But many of the Queens enjoyed the gifts.

 Some of them confused them with bribes and I have to admit I don't enjoy the bribery system too much. For one thing, I didn't get many! I got no chocolate whatsoever, good or bad. Or baked goods! But of course that is just as well. I think there is a lot of pressure on the candidates to bribe, and it makes things chaotic and unfair. Chaos is somewhat of an encouraged part of the process, though, and it makes the show funnier, so maybe I should just keep my reservations to myself.

Doctor Professor Mildred Slugwak Dresselhaus knocked herself out on printed propaganda and very cool keepsakes, and her little gift box was amazing in itself. It contained double-helix earrings which were brilliant and I love them. She ran a kids science activity of some kind, which I was too fluffy to really experience, and her efforts were outstanding. Any other year she would have won hands down, but it seems it almost takes two years to make any headway in the actual winning of the crown. You really have to cover all of the bases.

I see better what we need in a Slug Queen, and it is a complex skill set. I think there is almost always some authenticity required. You can have a schtick, and you need some kind of angle that separates you from the wannabees, but if you start into a rant about your obscure fantasy, the Queens and judges tend to shut down and distance from you. I think they want real, with a twist. 

I don't think claiming to be an alien species works that well, and political rants just get yawns unless they are funny and topical. Costuming is essential, and really counts for a lot, but the judges want original, and personally, I appreciate handmade and homegrown. I doubt I'm in the majority on that.  I don't like to see it become a contest where money makes a difference. 

Yet the fundraising/Junior League type of social commitment is serious and the candidate needs to show an ability to get that ambitious job done. Crowd support helps there, because if you have a lot of friends, they will most likely show up at your events. Queen Holly made a ton of money for arts education, and did an amazing job with that part of the role. I think the candidate Gloria Slimem was right on that, making donations in the name of the Queens (exact specifics elude me in the pile of artifacts currently on my desk) and she shows great potential as a quiet and powerful social force. In my opinion she wasn't convincing as a political radical but she might be able to develop that more in her next incarnation, if she chooses to run again. The Slug Queens vary in their political persuasions (a little) and being a radical in Eugene is something real, so unless it is very camp or very authentic it doesn't convince (me, at least.) But maybe Gloria is an old-style feminist and merely carrying through the politics she has lived, and didn't feel the need to overstate the obvious. Her talent was hilarious and simple, and that gained her many points I'm sure. Bringing in an ice-cream wagon with a new flavor (which was delicious) didn't hurt either. She gave me a gift certificate for a scoop!

Our winner Sadie had a lot going for her, but I think it was her charming realness that put her over the top. Her youth and enthusiasm counted too. She had evident determination, she was powerful and generous, and she put a lot of fun into the mix. She was glamour for the everyday young family-woman. Her dancers were real people being pretty serious about the routine, not just men dressing in wigs thinking that was enough. She prepared. 

Today's Slug Queen will not likely be a last-minute fling entry (though of course that is always possible.) There's a level of gravity in the position that might not show, but is all important to the Old Queens who do the actual voting. Most of them really want a candidate who can do it all, in style, and finish out the whole year, growing into the royal position and adding to the legend. They take it a bit more seriously than the costumes might indicate.

So there are rules, though rule-breaking is part of the spontaneity that is also necessary.  There is an underlying importance to the competition and coronation that goes beyond the guffaws. I admire anyone who attempts the task. Getting up there in front of your friends and family and letting yourself express some quirks is risky and wonderful. As a personally liberating experience it probably tops many. 

But I'm still not going to do it. Too much socializing, schmoozing, and real work to appeal to me, since I have so many other irons in the fire in my personal life. I accept the role of Queen of Jell-O Art, and I may appear occasionally since I love my costume and it's all ready to go, but I might not make it the type of all-city royal like those I sat among. My good works might be limited to the world of Jell-O Art and shameless self-promotion. I have pledged to promote next year's Jell-O Art Show, which will be the 25th Annual (more or less, because one was at Valentine's Day instead of April Fools and we're not sure if we count it or not) and I will do so as best I can. I entered my Jell-O in the Mayor's Show and it will appear in the not-the-Refusee show, even though that means I have to haul it down to the Market and walk it over to the gallery this Saturday. Jell-O Art is my cause, and since Sadie's is alternative art (or some such) maybe we will intersect nicely. At any rate she has my support!

It was thrilling to sit on stage with the Queens and see the candidates from the back while I watched the wonderfully enjoying crowd and the lovely summer evening. I felt uniquely privileged. Thanks to all who made it happen.

But I will admit that my favorite moments were biking downtown in my crinolines and sports bra, which were technically my underwear, with a basket of Jell-O roses bungeed on the back rack, feeling the hot summer breeze and wearing Jell-O on my head, and then biking home in the dark. I felt the most glorious, the most satisfied, the most beautiful then, because I imagined the wonder of a little girl who might have seen me pass.

"Mommy, I just saw a Queen on her bike! I want to be just like her someday." And I imagined that her mother might reply, "Then you will be, because every woman is a Queen as soon as she believes she is." 

No voting, no bribing, no costuming can make a Queen. You have to find her within, and then let her show. If you are having trouble getting started, try being an Angel first. Just unfold those little wings and make some art. Express yourself.

And then gather around you the people who will help you learn the ways, and go far away from those who will hurt you and hold you down. Liberate yourself. Then it won't matter if you win or lose, you will know your worth. 

I think that's what separated Sadie from the rest. She has an inner glow that is just infectious, whether she is competing or just walking around with her kids. She wanted it really badly, but I don't think losing would have crushed her. She has the grace and style required. She's going to be an amazing Queen.

We're lucky to have her as our irreverent Ruler. Brava!