Survived the Three Day

It might sound wimpy but three days of retail in a row are hard on us. It's a lot of smiling. There is also a lot of down time that still requires alertness. Waiting for customers, we get tempted into the aisles where we collect and trade gripes and successes. We dance and joke and prank each other constantly throughout the weekends, and once in a while (that's an understatement) someone loses perspective.

I do, anyway. I forget to keep the big picture in mind and get obsessed by some detail. A few of us spent a few hours being maddened again by the OCF fee increase. We plotted but of course don't really feel like we can do anything about it. It's aggravating to not feel a part of an organization like that. We need to work on it. I feel the most effective course is to continue to articulate our positions and continue trying to find the us and be part of it. We need to listen to our excuses and prod ourselves to be persistent for change. It's a big complicated group of people but each individual is approachable, and I truly believe each one has good intentions for the whole. People are much less selfish than we are inclined to believe.

Remembering that each individual can be addressed in person and thoughtfully is one of my goals. Whenever I see everyone as a group that can be categorized I make mistakes. There is almost never total agreement at a meeting or on a policy. That's one reason that in Market business we make a lot of exceptions to policy, that we emphasize what we do in practice rather than stick resolutely to our rules. The rules are guidelines to refer to when we are not sure what to do. It should always be more important to look at the individual, ask questions to find out why they do what they do, and try to find ways to accommodate the individual.

Sometimes they actually have a disability we don't know about, or a perfectly good reason for their actions or words that we have failed to hear or fully understand. We almost always need more information to make good decisions. That is why we try hard to do our business in the meetings, in the larger groups, with the principals in attendance, or at least with their communication in place. We have a lot of divergent thinkers in our groups, so we need to get together, share our viewpoints, and discuss things to make good solid decisions. We need to take the time to get the full information, and to tease out our assumptions and opinions from the actual facts.

I'm glad people think about things outside the meetings, and I hope they work on themselves to know when they are using drama or forgetting to examine their assumptions before they extend themselves with actions. I know for sure that I do not make good decisions when I am tired, distracted, and busy. I don't like to get all up in my passion and desire for justice and consistency and forget to think about where it all might lead. What is my goal? If it is just to vent my frustration or find control in my insecurity, I am glad when I kept things to myself while they resolved in my subconscious or wherever. Time helps, and it helps to step away from the problem.

We get really wrapped up in Holiday Market, and we don't even look outside our aisles sometimes. We get offended by things that we might not even notice outdoors or in the offseason. It all seems so big and essential.

I know most of us need every dollar we earn there. On top of the regular family stress and holiday busyness, we worry about how we will make it through the winter. We worry about people we are noticing more...are they sick? Do they have debt they can't manage? Are they drifting into irrationality? We maybe pay a little too much attention to each other in the routine of our comings and goings. I hear people saying "She doesn't like me" or complaining about something someone "always does." I hear intolerance and frustration. I hear the self-centeredness of forgetting I am a speck on a spot on a flea on a fly on a wart on a frog on a bump on a log in a hole in the bottom of the sea (to quote my favorite Dad song as a kid.)

It's not all about me! I have to tell myself that over and over. I may not be right. I may not be seeing what I think I see. Reality is slippery.

So keep that in mind, everyone, and give yourself a break. Give each other breaks. What may seem vitally important one moment may be laughable soon. Be patient. Be kind.

No one is in charge of our world. Each of us does our part. We do it together. We do it best together, in the same room, caring for each other.

We don't want to cause damage. Anger and intolerance cause damage. Acting rashly without thinking things through causes damage. At the last Board meeting, one potential new Board member went away shocked, I think, and we all went home with a small dent in our hearts from the anger expressed, as brief as it was. We want, above all, to be gentle and nurturing with each other so that we all can keep our fragile blossoms open.

It is seldom necessary in our world to take a hard line and be inflexible. Let's remember to take our time. We have our annual meeting this Sunday, and Beth is charged with summing it all up, this fractious and worrisome year, and putting it in perspective for us. Fortunately she has the skills to do that. We are still on the same journey, just pausing for a moment to look around.

It is an opportunity to celebrate, congratulate ourselves, and to see where we want to make adjustments. We each have our areas. I asked Beth to mention Tuesday Market, which is important to me. I'm guessing each participant brought something to her in that way, asking her to start or continue the process of refinement in a way that seems essential to them. She might not. There are a lot of areas in which we will have to work this coming year. We can only do so much if we want to do it well.

We want to do it well. It's not about us. We are here today but we will be gone on some coming tomorrow, and someone else will be in our space. I want Saturday Market to thrive for them. I want "us" to be here in fifty years, still in our niche, still essential to our members and our public. I want us to be careful.

And I really, really, really want us to be kind. This is the most gentle business network in the universe. That is important to me. We are all fragile, and any one of us could fall and knock over someone else. Being strong also requires being sensitive.

Let us not model any of the worst that we observe about the mainstream culture. Let us be ourselves and know what is best for us. Let us listen to our elders and our children and make wise, slow decisions that work for everyone. Let us put aside our passions and relax together.

We can do it. We can do it well. Just slow down and see everyone else gathered around. Be calm. Speak softly.

Get some sleep. Take a walk. Have some time off. Feel the love. Enjoy the abundance, and trust in the sufficiency. Everything is going to be all right.

And a special thanks to the musicians of Sunday, particularly Rob Tobias, for the thoughtful, uplifting energy that sustained and inspired us. I needed the Redemption Song.

I need you people. I'll be there for you, and I'll try to remember that you are there for me.