Same sandwich?

 Membership organizations are complex! Members have rights, but seldom the documents outlining those rights. Obviously operating on trust and honesty makes the organization vulnerable. Policy is your friend, but policy can't predict every situation, or be understood in a useful way when things come up that are complicated. I did some research in ORS 65 the other day and everything seemed so general and easy to bend. It's a rare person who can read policy and come up with a definitive interpretation that will hold over time and convince people who disagree. 

I watched the OCF Board meeting, which was cringy, but to their credit they made most of it public, only keeping some confidential, so I'm proud of them for attempting to honor transparency and the members' right to know things. Truth is, the members will almost always get the full story eventually, and none of the ordinary members are sworn to confidentiality, and most don't understand it either.

So the truth comes out. Often there are multiple versions of it, and usually opinions formed over years don't change. Some kind of historical "truth" settles in and becomes the story that moves forward.

Trying to make a policy for an individual situation when you should have already made that policy is a bad look. When other people were fired, who were members, various limits were put on them, that weren't put on others. It was harsh then and it still seems harsh. The Board agreeing to go along with it doesn't make it right and whether or not it was an elegant solution remains to be seen. Something elegant ought to be more immediately recognizable. 

While it may have pushed the current situation into some kind of a solution, only time will tell if that solution works. Mistreatment doesn't go away, it lives on in the damage done and the perceptions, right or wrong, of the people who participated, and even more so in those who observed, weren't given the full story, and drew their conclusions. That is not something that can be controlled, which is the place where control tactics fail to work. Wisdom needs the acceptance that nothing is really under control, so the tactics will backfire. 

The volunteers who serve have to find a way to settle things within themselves, so anything that can inspire them to work through it and continue their service is useful, and welcome, and I see that the mostly wise and relatively professional volunteers on that Board tried to offer that inspiration. 

To me, I see so much missing and am reminded of the times not so long ago when that was not provided. I don't see that little bit of inspiration winging its way over to my own situation. 

Once again I examine my participation, silence and all of the emotional and intellectual work it requires to find ways to navigate these complexities. I want to trust the people I have learned to trust...but that is simply more difficult every time. 

At this rate, there might not be many people left in that category. It's too hard. No wonder I am so excited about my unstructured, sunny day when my work seems simple and straightforward.

Rake leaves. Print the little piles to fill in my inventory. Watch the weather predictions so I know how to handle Saturday. At least that is looking better everytime I check it. Maybe that is the guidance I want.

Certainly the deep dreams I had about digging things up from the ground inside a building where an event was in progress will not be helpful to form metaphors about. Or going out to open my shop and finding that a bloody murder had happened on my front steps. No feathers or fur, just the guts and the blood. Somewhere no doubt I will see the swarm of flies that has found the carcass. 

Still a sunny and rare day to savor though.