Day before the election

 It's the day before the election...hard to not feel anxious about it. I don't really believe it is close, but I have underestimated the racism and sexism of Americans before. They didn't used to be comfortable admitting it in public like they seem to be now, but a lot of people have it internalized so thoroughly they don't even know that's their motivation. But I'm planning to stay offline as much as possible and have faith in young people and people my age who really won't go back to what we know was very wrong.

Meanwhile, I'm just managing my emotions over missing five markets, four of which were sunny and I'm sure would have been very successful for me. Even the last one wasn't all that wet though still would have been too hard for me. I've been doing a lot more with my right arm and hand but it isn't strong enough to rely on for bike brakes, lifting, dealing with tight bungies or all the rest of the things I would need to do market. I missed it a lot more than I expected and was depressed every week about it, so didn't want to visit and feel very cut off from my usual social opportunities which pretty much consisted of showing up for the weekly workday. 

But Holiday Market starts on the 16th and I am planning to manage the load-in on the day before. Even if I can't bike well, just crossing the Fairgrounds won't be too hard...I can walk the bike if I need to. I've gotten good at using my left arm as the main one and the right just steadies things so I've been raking leaves, weeding, and getting the yard and gardens ready for winter. I got my painting project finished although it looks quite sloppy but it got too wet and cold to go back and neaten up the edges. I'll catch them next time. Seems like I repaint the white trim every couple of years no matter what.

Got my outside water management pretty together although my hoses broke in several places so I'll be looking for new ones I guess. Inside the house, the kitchen sink started to drip and I thought it would be easy to fix but I broke a part and now have to replace the whole faucet and that will have to wait. I turned down the pressure and just turn it up to wash dishes and can probably go for awhile without being too frustrated with that. House maintenance is always an issue though, and it does get a bit overwhelming now and then. I had a rat in the attic again which I caught in one of the dozens of traps I have up there but I have no idea how they get in and think there must be a system of tunnels that they live in that extends under the house. I'm not seeing any real evidence of them outside though. I see far too many squirrels but they don't seem to be that interested in getting into the house. 

I have my first PT appointment tomorrow, since the one last week was canceled. Getting medical care is a challenge so I'm grateful my issue is sort of minor on the scale of things I could be dealing with. I hope she will give me permission to do the things I have already decided I can do, and give me some more to try. I remember when my dad broke his wrist when I was a kid, chasing a rabbit in slippery grass. He cut his cast off at some point and had a box of cocoa butter bars that he used for exercising it, squeezing them I guess. I'm in a removable brace which is much better than a cast but I'd love to wear it less so I'm hoping that will happen. I see the doctor next week at what will be 6 weeks so I hope he sends me on my way. A memorable adventure that I hope not to repeat. It's only my second broken bone in my life but I don't want any more so will try hard to be more careful. Gravity is real.

I have started coloring hats a little...I have trouble getting the caps off the markers and don't want to try anything too precise but I've been able to get caught up a little. I'll do more while I watch election results since drinking won't be that fun and I'll need some distraction. Surely we have left the dominance of white supremacy culture behind. All of the young people I know have grown up knowing better and I have faith in them and in women who value our autonomy and are sure about that. 

But I live in a bubble and want to stay in it. I'm just accepting that I will be anxious and wishing and hoping for the best. Still expecting a lot of shenanigans, but also a definite statement that women matter and the whole concept of dominance is outdated and not the way to solve our problems.