Crafting the Elegant Solution

There sure is a lot on the city's plate these days: Envision Eugene, the West Eugene EmX siting decision, the city income tax to fund schools, the school closures. All of these issues have really invested people saying wild and speculative things about what might happen if certain proposals are sent forward and others aren't. Lots of things are still simmering in the background, UO sports issues, big world issues like the plastic bag ban, polar bears, stuff happening at the federal level in government. It certainly adds up to an overload for most people.

People get way far into their imaginary scenarios of the disasters that are in the making, the wrong directions we are going in, what I see as a going-to-hell-in-a-handbasket view of the world. It is almost never as bad (or as good) as people will have you believe. People are expressing their fear of loss and feelings of helplessness.

It all causes a lot of emotional shutting down and I am not immune to that. I am often pretty sure my opinion on most of these issues will make no difference whatsoever in their outcome, and I'm not inclined to put out a lot of effort to help solve them. I do appreciate the committed citizens who take their opinions into the public forum and work hard to find solutions that will solve the most problems possible with human effort. Some things aren't as fixable as others. I imagine most of those people are practical about what is achievable and work to do as much in as positive a fashion as they can. Without people willing to make the effort, we would certainly have more chaos. So I try to encourage myself to at least stand up and be counted on as many things as I can, addressing my fears but keeping them under control.

I have found that most "public servants" (odd term) and politicians have pretty good intentions that are limited by their world view, and seem reasonable according to the viewer's world view. Part of the job is determining what false impressions are out there and putting them to rest so the real questions can be raised and the real answers worked out. It takes a lot of patience and a lot of repeating of ground rules. It also takes a resistance to stereotypes and labels, and an ability to see everyone else as the same rather complicated human we feel we are. I'm not simple, so I can't expect you to be. Turn anxiety into curiosity.

Some ground rules seem simple but people forget. No yelling or shaming or blaming or name-calling or other rude behavior. That one is increasingly forgotten when people feel fearful or threatened in some way. There's a lot of paranoia. The media likes juicy quotes, too, and we are trained now to look for drama, build it and use it as a weapon. It builds to catastrophe and pretty soon people are traumatized by things that aren't even happening.

There is plenty of trauma and catastrophe available without manufacturing it. Let's all calm down, for starters.

We are seldom really enemies trying to defeat each other, so drop that posture. At a meeting recently, my group was told that if we were allowed to go to a public forum, there would be a zoo. Another unfortunate term: did you just call me an animal? I am actually a very reasonable, intelligent human, and I presume you also see yourself to be that. So why would you expect that any other small business owner, artist, food producer, musician, or worker would not also be a reasonable, thoughtful person with enough training to know how to be polite to others?

Let's expect the best from others, and we may get it. If we project and gear up for unreasonable behavior, we may just create that with our defensiveness. It may require some skill to keep the tenor of a meeting calm and keep a group focused on doing the work and not projecting their fears on each other. Many people are skilled at meeting and group decision-making behavior, and many meetings are productive and uplifting, even when hard decisions must be made.

So bring some skilled people to the meeting if you know any. If people are easily angered and can't let go of their hurt feelings and the agenda of revenge, maybe there is another job they can do rather than be at the meeting. Take care of your hurt feelings and resentments before you go. Those are personal, and the business of a group is to try to represent others in making a way forward that will best serve the needs of the greater group, as large a one as it is possible to serve.

Once I was standing at a peace demonstration and an argument started when someone said something hateful. Many were called to respond, but one young man said clearly "that's bullying; don't respond to bullying." We can create peace by calling behaviors what they are, and by our reaction to them. Don't escalate. When someone starts to go off, make sure they feel heard, but don't engage in the escalation and magnification of their fears. Try to identify the fear, and dispel it if you can. If not, simply acknowledge it.

In the case of the LCFM/SM difference of opinion, we bring fear for our livelihood to the table. Many of our small business people and farmers are on a financial edge, and disaster is always close. Those who aren't there, don't see that. Some of us feel we have a lot to lose, and if it happens quickly, we feel we may not be able to recover. This fear starts to color our actions.

Some of us older folks fear the loss of everything we have, our physical ability to do the work, our subsequent ability to support ourselves and live. We don't have much of a safety net. Personally, that's where I am. I'm not making much headway on my debts, my income doesn't have many options for increase, and my body is failing in small but progressive ways. I can't afford my health insurance, but am afraid to drop it. I'm on the path of trying to manage risk, maintain what I do have, and convince myself to feel secure when I am not. I really need every penny I make at the market. If my sales decreased even 10 percent, I'd be in serious trouble.

I'm guessing a majority of my fellow vendors are feeling that. We're working to capacity already, and it isn't a matter of laying off a worker, or saving or investing less. I don't have savings or investments or workers or options. I'm my sole support. So I bring that kind of fear to the table, that closing off the entrance to my market will cut my income by restricting my customer base. Taking away the parking spaces close to me might make it impossible for me to get my stuff to my space to sell. A good portion of our vendors are getting old, acquiring or managing disabilities, and we can't, in good conscience, agree to make things harder for them.

But I can't let that kind of fear overwhelm my ability to see the larger picture and remember that things are not the same for all of us. All I can do is speak up calmly about the issues I feel will arise, and try to prevent or plan to accommodate them. If we frame them as problems to be addressed, instead of disasters that will befall us that are beyond our control, we can find the elegant solutions.

It looks like the farmers and the craftspeople may soon meet, and it will be on all of us to bring our good behavior to the meeting. We will be reasonable, we will listen thoroughly, and we will remember that we are not there to "win the day" or defeat each other. We will be there to hear each other, to put facts in the place of rumors, and to get to work together as equals to work out our differences and find places of agreement.

I hope we will all come ready to learn and get to know each other, and to bring forward the best intentions and ideas to bring our cooperative efforts to more productive fruition. I hope we will have a skilled facilitator present, and I know we will have many skilled group decision-makers present. I'm feeling hopeful. That, in a week of darkness, is a very good feeling.